Traitors of Great Britain.

We are all traitors and being the filth we are, we are proud of it.

KETLAN

Here is our glorious leader Ketlan, aka TOSSOFFSKI.

Apparently our hero had just been to Woolies to complain about the mistreatment of a sheep in their latest advert. Rather naughty of Rolf Harris to paint the wall with it. Ketlan is reported to live in Lancaster, where he spends his spare time sniffing litle boys bicycle seats. In future Ketlan, please wait till the boys dismount.

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GARSIDE

Next it gives us great pleasure to introduce the most masculine of our little group of lovies. Her name is Denise Garside, a self confessed 'bloater' from somewhere near Great Yarmouth. Recently she was called a 'fucking dyke' by former friend Ketlan. Which is strange, he actualy got something right for a change.

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After running out of double A's one night, Garside was caught on her hands and knees getting plated by a neighbours pet spanniel. The RSPCA decided not to press charges, after it was pointed out that the female animal was unperturbed, if a little smellier for the experience.

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STEVE

I have left myself until last here for two reasons. First is the most obvious, I'm by far the smallest. Also I am scared that someone might recognise the underaged gook I was out with that night.

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Recently some horrid fascists have been saying nasty things about me, mostly to do with my tiny stature and perverted sexual orientation. I had been operating as a secret communist enemy of Great Britain for many years before Ketlan let slip my identity on Lancaster UAF Blog. Of course there was nothing I could do about it, old Tossoffski would have kneed me in the head. But big Denny G sorted him out, and he has had his pimples popped. Apparently he deliberatly gave up my name because he doesn'r aprove of my other loyalties. I can't for the life of me understand why.